Published 09.05.08 in Metro
Bringing up belly
“Desperate Housewives” star Eva
Longoria would like to set the record straight about something, you
nosy, nosy entertainment reporters: She is not in a family way. She is
not comparing paint samples for a nursery. She is not with child.
Actually, we’ll let Longoria tell you, since she puts it best: “I’m not
pregnant. I’m just fat.”
See? Straight, to the point. She’s the Hemingway of the “Housewives”
cast, providing a lovely counterpoint to the gin-soaked country club
ramblings of Marcia Cross’ Fitzgerald. (Since you were going to ask
anyway, Teri Hatcher is the Gertrude Stein. Obviously.)
Longoria says she put on the weight for the new season of her show,
a dramatized spin-off of “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” But
there’s a baby bump and then there’s burrito bloat. So what really
counts as “fat” in today’s Hollywood? “I gained five pounds over the
summer,” Longoria said, according to Showbiz Spy. “So instead of a size zero, I’m a size one.”
Color us impressed. She manages to deflect pregnancy rumors, seem self-deprecating, drop hints about how “method” she is without bragging, and make women everywhere feel awful about their bodies. Now that’s talent.
Naming names
Like any good gentleman, Daniel Radcliffe is refusing to dish when
it comes to the identity of the woman he lost his virginity to when he
was 16. He’s keeping mum because there was a bit of an
age difference, you see. The “Harry Potter” star told Details magazine
the age disparity “wasn’t ridiculous,” but that it would “freak some
people out.”
With all the older British actresses who've appeared alongside Radcliffe in the "Harry Potter" movies, the mind reels. Maggie Smith, you saucy minx.
Of course, this is all just a stealthy way for Radcliffe to let everyone know he’s done the dirty. So, to satisfy Mr. Potter (as if he isn’t satisfied enough already), we’ll give our congratulations. Well played. You’re very mature. A less restrained teen millionaire might’ve gone a different route, buying up huge billboards showing his face and the words ‘I totes had sexy times when I was 16! With a lady! Pwned!’
NedEhrbar.com bonus: Welcome to the club
By now, everyone knows about how Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol is in a family way. (Can we say she was un-Longoria’d?) So what does the Juno from Juneau get for ripping off Jamie Lynn Spears’ schtick? A gift basket from Jamie Lynn Spears.
The Nickelodeon star and young mother said she felt a kinship with Bristol and wanted to show her support. She also assumed the press would make comparisons between the two young ladies and wanted to make our jobs easier. Thanks, JL!
The note attached read: ‘Dear Bristol, hang in there. XOXO, Jamie Lynn.’ No word on if a poster of an adorable, pregnant kitten hanging onto a rope was included as well.